Paying My Way

You'll figure this out as you read through this blog: I'm very neurotic. Every time I sit down to write a new post, all I can focus on is all the concerns I have about this trip. For something that's going to be so much fun, it is already stressing me the fuck out.

(Also, every time I sit down to write a new post, I get distracted by watching videos of drag queens on YouTube. For hours. It's my favorite thing. I should put "Find A Drag Show" on my list of things to do in London.)

Back to trip-planning, though: one thing that keeps coming to mind is the guilt over spending so much money. And the worry that I'll just run out of money while I'm over there and spend the last few days just sitting in my hotel. And the fear that something big will happen and I'll end up in dire straits, because I've spent myself into a corner.

I made a cheeky comment on Facebook, asking if it would be inappropriate to start a GoFundMe page to pay for the trip. The consensus was that people start them for much dumber things, so why not? I'm keeping that option open.

In the meantime, I talked to my dad on the phone and he, out of the blue - though I'm sure it was prompted by that Facebook post - asked me how much the trip was going to cost. I told him I had come to a conservative estimate of $3,000, altogether. He then offered to send me $1,000. 

Even though I know they say not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I turned it down. I told him to hang on to that for a birthday or something, if he really wants to give it to me.

I could use it now, sure. I could put it straight on my credit card and have the balance for my plane ticket and hotel paid down by half. That would actually be the smartest thing, now that I'm thinking about it. It would mean I'm paying interest on $1,000 less. Damn, I'm dumb.

But I just don't like the thought of it. He's just bought a new house and moved from Oklahoma to Kentucky. And his house needs a lot of improvements. That's what he should be spending his money on, not my vacation. Plus, he's living on Social Security and savings, pretty much, now, since I think the retirement is all but spent.

Anyway, I have a real independent streak. I don't like accepting help, if I can help it. Unfortunately, my income is not enough to enable me to be wholly independent.

In other news, I just discovered that VisitLondon.com has a YouTube channel. So, I'm going to watch all of the London travel videos I can find, now.

Bye, Felicia! (Sorry--too many drag queen videos.)