"Where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?"

I have the best friends in the world.

My good friends, Faith and her fiance Ethan, threw a party for me Friday, under the premise of raising funds for my London trip.

I had been posting on Facebook about trying to use crowdfunding to raise money for it. None of that worked, so I was joking that there's no opportunity for single adults to get free stuff.

It went something like this:

"Where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?"

Carrie is absolutely right. We should celebrate each other's lives, even if our friends don't follow the standard life path of graduation, engagement, marriage, babies.

I was just joking, but my amazing friend, Faith, actually did something about it and threw me a vacation shower.

I was dreading it, actually. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Why should I be asking my equally broke friends to subsidize my vacation?

And if nobody showed up, I would just have to kill myself. There would be no other recourse. It would be too mortifying.

But I went and had an amazing time. More people showed than I had expected (though, I had expected no one to show up). And my friends donated $85, between them.

I couldn't believe it. I feel so grateful to have such great friends. I have felt so down for so long, and so lonely for so long, and they showed me how much I was taking for granted. I've got tears in my eyes, as I write this. It was so touching. 

And it's that, that I'll think about when I'm trying to muster up the courage to do things that intimidate me in London. I'll think about the people at home rooting for me to explore and have a great time, and how much I don't want to let them down.

Friday was one of the best nights I've had in a long, long time.

My First Night In London

Lately, I've been looking into things going on in London during the week I'm there for another once-in-a-lifetime experience. Not like Hamlet isn't enough. But I have only a few nights and I want to make the most of them. Nights specifically. I have plenty of things planned for the daytime, but I don't want to be wandering around alone at night or hanging out in bars, so I need events to attend.

Well, I came across a perfect one today. I love John Finnemore and his radio programs, like Cabin Pressure and the Souvenir Programme. Today, I saw a tweet that he's putting on a new stage show called Souvenir Cabin for two weeks only, and the last night in the run happens to coincide with my first night in London!

I bought a ticket, and I can't wait. Brilliant!

So, that's two nights dealt with, counting the night in Hamlet.

And it's my very first night in the city, too, when I'll be super anxious to get out and yet not at all famliar with the city yet. The plan is, I arrive in London on Sunday morning, amble casually to the hotel, check in and have a shower. Then, I go to Sunday roast at The Stag, and then shopping at Camden Lock Market. Then back to the hotel to drop off my stuff and freshen up, and head off to the Shaw Theatre for this hilarious show.

This trip is getting better and better.

The Sorting Post

Now to figure out how I'm going to be spending my short time in London.


Must do:

Sunday
Browse Camden Market - Closed Tuesday, all others 10-6
Stop in at Eclipse tattoos and consult on a tat
Sunday Roast at The Stag
Walk to the top of Parliament Hill and enjoy the view
Stop in somewhere and get some nibbles to keep in the room
Go back to the room and rest up


Monday

Double decker bus tour
Starts at 8:30 am from Green Park underground. *Need to book.
Changing of the guard at 10:20 am - 10:35 or 10:50 at the latest
Ride to Trafalgar Square
National Gallery and lunch?
Scene in London movie/TV spots walking tour from 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm
Ride to Regent Park and walk to Speedy's Cafe on N Gower Street to eat (unless the walk goes through there, anyway.)
Walk back and ride to Tower Pier
River Cruise to Westminster Pier
*Check on last boat time
Or do the mysteries walk
(Evening stroll along Southbank, if not exhausted.)

Tuesday

Tour the Globe Theatre - open at 9:00
Tate Modern + lunch in the museum cafe until about 2 or so
Walk across the Millenium bridge
See St. Paul's and ogle St. Bart's Hospital
Pre-theatre afternoon tea at Bea's of Bloomsbury *Need to make reservation for 4:30
Hamlet at the Barbican at 7:15

Wednesday

Eat my way through Borough Market
Maybe get a drink at Aqua Shard?


Thursday

Window shopping on Oxford Street and around Piccadilly Circus, maybe.
See 221 Baker Street and maybe tour the museum
Browse Soho and China Town
Dinner in China Town or Soho

Friday

????

Want to do:

Browse Portobello Market?
Browse Old Spitalfields Market?
Museum of London?
Victoria And Albert Museum?
Covent Garden?

Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are a little fuzzy still. But this is progress. I'm trying to fit everything in and be mindful of location and travel expense/time. I'll keep coming back to update this, as I figure things out.

Preparedness With Apps

I've been trying to cool it a bit this month, with the obsessing about the trip. It was making the summer go by dreadfully slow. But I'm afraid I've fallen right back into it.

A few things I've discovered recently:

Pinterest is useful for planning trips. I never got the point of it before, but I kept finding links to great articles on there. So, I signed up and I get it now.

There are all kinds of apps that do useful things, too, but no one app does everything.

The Tube Map app lets you save your favorite routes and gives you updates about service. And if you want to pay money, it'll also tell you which carriage of each train is nearest the way out to save you time, and it'll tell you when the last train is for all of the stations. I haven't paid money for that, though. I don't think I'll be in that big of a hurry, and the time tables are free to download, which I have. The best part is it overlays the walking time between stations over the tube map, so I don't end up wasting my time and money, when I could just walk five minutes to get to another station. Oh, and it works offline.

The Ulmon London app lets you put pins in a map of all the places you want to remember for various reasons. I've starred everything from the Tower of London to the Tesco nearest my hotel. It gives you information about the popular ones and shows you the nearby tube stations. And it works offline. It doesn't, however, offer an itinerary planner. But I like it because it seems like more places show up on its map.

I was a schmuck and paid way too much for the Trip Boss app, while half asleep. Don't buy apps in bed! TripIt! or Tripomatic both do the same thing and look better and work better. They let you plan out itineraries for your trip. The one downside of Tripomatic is it offers to give you directions from place to place on your itinerary, but it doesn't offer the tube as a travel option. I gave up playing with TripIt! because it's ugly and didn't recognize so many places I wanted to go. Trip Case is similar, but it doesn't work offline. It looks good, but it's confusing and doesn't really do much. Tripomatic also has some travel guide features and lists tours and day trips, so point goes to Tripomatic for itinerary planning.

Triposo is an offline-enabled travel guide, basically. It also lets you book tours and day trips from within the app. The coolest thing is it has audio guided walking tours available on the app. Also, the mini guides created by community members are nice. It seems more geared toward booking things, rather than planning the details of an already booked trip, though, which is what I'm looking for now.

I also downloaded a packing list app and a mobile data manager to help keep me from going over while I'm in London and much more limited data-wise than at home.

My intention was to plan out each day, so I'm sure to not miss anything. But that seems pretty unrealistic, now that I'm getting down to it. So, for right now, I'm narrowing down the list of what I must do, what I kind of want to do, and what I only want to do if bored. I'm plotting out the things I've already booked, and I'll add things in as I make restaurant reservations and such. The rest might just have to be filled in a day ahead or something. Maybe I'll sit in the pub and make plans each evening.

Oh, yeah, by the way--my hotel is above London's oldest gay pub! I found that out this week. It's also haunted. So, I totally picked the right place for me.

Pret A Manger Lesson

I keep reading about Pret A Manger being a great place to get an affordable meal on the go in London. Fresh, natural, healthy sandwiches and salads and stuff? Yes please. It's basically a classier Quik Trip.

But seriously, how in the hell are you supposed to say that? Pret Ay Main-ger? Pret Ah Mahn-ger?

I finally looked it up and it's Pret Ah Mahn-zhay. I would have never figured that out until I said it wrong to a local and looked like an idiot. Thank you, Internet!

This lady really loves Pret A Manger.

Map-A-Plan

I like maps. I'm pretty good at navigating, but I have to have studied a map to be able to visualize it when I'm getting around.

I've been looking for a good map of the sights in London, and I just found a treasure trove.

MapAPlan.com has several illustrated maps that are really helpful. For instance, I had no idea how close the Tate Modern and the Barbican are. I mean, I could walk between them. Which means I might consider making my trip to the Tate before I go see Hamlet at the Barbican. I might not have considered that.

The travel guide I bought is separated into different areas, and the full pull-out map doesn't really highlight all the sights. And the tube map is separate and even smaller. This site has a map of the tube lines with the sights overlaid. Very handy.

These are only really helpful for planning each day's itinerary. I'm not going to print them out and carry them around or anything, but this should make it easier to visualize everything in context.

INTJ

So, I just randomly decided to take one of those Myers-Briggs personality tests. I know I took one years ago, but I couldn't remember what type I was, I wanted to know where I would fall on this list I found on Facebook: What Each Myers-Briggs Type Does At A Party.

It turns out, I'm an INTJ, and I would be taking scheduled hydration breaks in an attempt to reduce the impact of the inevitable morning-after hangover.

That's totally inaccurate, but there were a few things on the personality analysis that seemed about right.

"Independent, goal-oriented, and resolute, you tend to have very clear notions about how the abstract ideas that you nurture in your head should be turned into reality. Once you have determined what needs to be done you throw yourself at the problem with an unyielding decisiveness that thinks little of other people's skepticism and reservations. Being extremely independent and strong-willed, you tend to simply ignore it when people protest that your plan is "impossible." Living in a world of ideas and strategic planning as you do, others rarely have the prerequisites, intelligence, or competence to offer solid correctives to your plans anyway. They rarely plan ahead and optimize as extensively as you do, so it is natural that they won't understand the full magnitude and importance of your schemes until you actually carry them out and convince the world otherwise."

I mean, look at all the planning and strategizing I'm already doing for this trip. I've been planning out each day. I checked out several websites and downloaded several apps to do it, and determined which ones were superior. I've been studying the tube maps and figuring out how I'm going to get around. And I've already discussed all the researching and shopping I've been doing. I was feeling crazy, but now I can just say, "Hey, that's just how I am."

Just kidding. But it does give me a little boost, I have to say.

Except for the part where I'm also clueless in romance, arrogant, judgmental and overly analytical. But I already knew all of that.

I mentioned to my oldest friend, who also happens to be my boss, that I had gotten my passport. He then asked me whether I had everything booked. I know I've told him I had before, but he must have either not believed me or he wasn't listening. He said, "Wow, I'm impressed."

My personality type is supposed to be super self-confident. In some ways, I am, but I definitely don't come off that way. So, pretty much everyone in my life is surprised by this whole thing. And that makes me just that much more determined to have an awesome time, because I'm "extremely independent and strong-willed," apparently.

Anyway, what else? Oh, I've started on Wellbutrin. My doctor said to wean off the Citalopram for a week and start the Bupropion after a few days off meds, but since I have "unyielding decisiveness" and a natural distrust of authority, I decided to decrease the Citalopram and start the Bupropion at the same time, until I run out of Citalopram.

I'm already feeling better. I hung out with a couple of good friends this weekend and I was my old funny, quick-witted self. I haven't been that woman in a while, so that felt great.

I've also been to talk to a therapist a couple of times, and we're working on a plan to get me out of my funk. It includes trying to get more sleep and spending less time in bed. And working out even if I don't really feel like it.

And tomorrow, I'm going to Oklahoma City for a SCORE physical. I'll be meeting with a dietician and everything. I'm planning on starting the great transformation after that. In five months, hopefully I'll be more fit and more confident and ready to really cut loose in London.

I'll get back to you on that.

Obsessing

I'm officially obsessed with planning this trip. And I'm obsessed with buying things for the trip, it seems, which could be trouble.

I've bought another handbag, shoes, a rain jacket, perfume, clothes-- all with the trip in mind. And I've got my eye on a good pair sneakers. Like I don't already have sneakers. It's out of control.

In other news, I got my passport. So, that lady in the county clerk's office can shove it. My picture wasn't too brown and my birth certificate was apparently sufficiently long. That was a relief.

Pain In The Ass

I was woefully unprepared for what a pain in the ass getting my passport was going to be.

First, it turned out I had an unofficial birth certificate, which was just dumb on my part. Then I was "half-smiling" and it "changed the shape of my face" in my photo. I got my official birth certificate and then found out today that it needs to be the long-form certificate, that includes my parents' birth information. And the background of my photo was possibly "too brown." It looked off-white to me, but who knows.

I submitted it, anyway. I'll just get my long-form birth certificate and have it ready when the rejection letter comes.

I'm just glad I didn't put off doing all this until the last minute.

I've been relatively productive today. After the frustrating passport office experience, I went to Barnes & Noble for some retail therapy. I bought Lonely Planet's Pocket London travel guide.

It's perfectly purse-sized. Pocket-sized, not so much, but it'll go in the purse. It has walking tours and recommendations and maps based on each neighborhood, which I like. And I like the pull-out map, even though I wish it wasn't just of the city center. I'm realizing now that my hotel isn't even on any of the maps. But that's okay. I can find my way there from the edge of the map.

It does, however, have a walking tour of Hampstead Heath, which ends with lunch at The Stag. I'm already planning to do that, actually, but I like that it was in the book. It makes me feel like I'm already in the know.

And it has information about what time of day is best to see the top sights in every neighborhood, which is something I hadn't even thought of, but I think that will be very useful.

Today, I'm planning to take my dog for a walk, because it's beautiful outside. Also, because I'm ridiculously out of shape and way too fat. If I could lose like 60 pounds before I go to London, that would be fantastic.

I'll get right on that. (Yeah, right.)

Rough Weeks

It's been a rough few weeks.

I might as well talk about this, because it's part of the whole journey.

Last year, a few days after I bought my ticket to see Hamlet, I called my mom and told her about it. I had been hesitant to even mention it.

I took a trip with a friend to Phoenix in college and I never told her about it until after I had already graduated and moved out. She was pissed! More pissed than she even let me know. But she sure as hell told everybody else about it, as I found out later.

The thing is, she was very protective. All through high school, I think mostly because she had already raised three kids before I even came along, I was very much sheltered. And when I went anywhere or did anything remotely dangerous, it kept her up at night, worrying.

Which is why I didn't tell her I was going to Phoenix until I had already survived it.

She also didn't hear about the trips to Dallas or the trip to San Antonio until later. I nearly got my car taken away after I took my niece and nephew to a movie in Tulsa, and that was just over an hour away. When I said I wanted to move to Tulsa, she said, "People get shot just walking down the street there!"

So, I could only imagine what she was going to say to the idea of me going to London alone.

But she shocked me. She said, "That sounds like it would be fun." She did ask me if I planned to get someone else to go with me. I said I'd like to, but I didn't know if I could talk anyone into it. Maybe I would ask my sister. I said I would go either way, if I could. But I softened the blow and reminded her I probably couldn't afford to do it, anyway, and I could always sell back my theater ticket, if it came to that.

Anyway, she was positive about it, and didn't try to scare me out of it. She might have at some point down the line. But I'll never know, because just a few hours later, she had a heart attack.

And before you think it, no, I don't think she had a heart attack, just thinking about me going to London.

The next time I saw her was that night in the hospital. She was sitting up and talking. She was joking about fixing me up with the obviously gay phlebotomist. She was asking for sweet tea. It seemed like she'd be going home in a couple days and she'd be fine.

But we got a call that night that she'd gone into cardiac arrest and had to be revived. She was intubated and out of it after that, and she died two days later.

That was April 13, 2014.

So, it's been a rough few weeks.

It's been a rough year, really. I finally, just a couple months ago, broke down and talked to a doctor about depression. I was, in fact, diagnosed with major depression, and I've been on a prescription for long enough now that it's starting to work. And I'm going for my first counseling session soon.

I think planning this trip is helping me come out of it. It gives me something to look forward to. And it gives me a reason to want to better myself. But mostly, I like to think that Mom would have wanted me to do it, even if she'd also be relieved that she's not alive to worry herself to death while I did it.

Maybe that's wishful thinking, but the idea emboldens me, either way. Which, frankly, is really needed, at this point.

Paying My Way

You'll figure this out as you read through this blog: I'm very neurotic. Every time I sit down to write a new post, all I can focus on is all the concerns I have about this trip. For something that's going to be so much fun, it is already stressing me the fuck out.

(Also, every time I sit down to write a new post, I get distracted by watching videos of drag queens on YouTube. For hours. It's my favorite thing. I should put "Find A Drag Show" on my list of things to do in London.)

Back to trip-planning, though: one thing that keeps coming to mind is the guilt over spending so much money. And the worry that I'll just run out of money while I'm over there and spend the last few days just sitting in my hotel. And the fear that something big will happen and I'll end up in dire straits, because I've spent myself into a corner.

I made a cheeky comment on Facebook, asking if it would be inappropriate to start a GoFundMe page to pay for the trip. The consensus was that people start them for much dumber things, so why not? I'm keeping that option open.

In the meantime, I talked to my dad on the phone and he, out of the blue - though I'm sure it was prompted by that Facebook post - asked me how much the trip was going to cost. I told him I had come to a conservative estimate of $3,000, altogether. He then offered to send me $1,000. 

Even though I know they say not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I turned it down. I told him to hang on to that for a birthday or something, if he really wants to give it to me.

I could use it now, sure. I could put it straight on my credit card and have the balance for my plane ticket and hotel paid down by half. That would actually be the smartest thing, now that I'm thinking about it. It would mean I'm paying interest on $1,000 less. Damn, I'm dumb.

But I just don't like the thought of it. He's just bought a new house and moved from Oklahoma to Kentucky. And his house needs a lot of improvements. That's what he should be spending his money on, not my vacation. Plus, he's living on Social Security and savings, pretty much, now, since I think the retirement is all but spent.

Anyway, I have a real independent streak. I don't like accepting help, if I can help it. Unfortunately, my income is not enough to enable me to be wholly independent.

In other news, I just discovered that VisitLondon.com has a YouTube channel. So, I'm going to watch all of the London travel videos I can find, now.

Bye, Felicia! (Sorry--too many drag queen videos.)

To Carry-On Or To Check

 I just crossed something off my to-do list.

One of my biggest concerns about the whole trip is that first morning, arriving in London and trying to figure out how to schlep my shit all the way to Hampstead, to my hotel. I sure as hell don't want to pay $50-$75 for a taxi across down. And the thought of dealing with baggage claim and getting heavy bags up and down escalators at the train stations on my own sounds awful.

So, the decision to make a small carry-on work for me was a pretty easy one to make. But I only have one huge suitcase with a broken zipper. So, the mission was to find one that will hold a week's worth of stuff and be small enough to carry on the plane..

I read a USA Today article about changes to carry-on sizes made last year. Apparently, airlines are requiring carry-on bags be no bigger than 22x14x9. And, as I found out, a lot of bags are 20 inches long, but they're 14.5 or more inches wide, and apparently that half inch can make all the difference.

I did some shopping around and found a really good one for a really good price from ebags.com.

Traveler's Choice Cambridge 20"

EBags gives you a discount when you sign up on the site, and the shipping is free for orders over a certain amount, so it was a great deal.

Now, the challenge is to pack a week's worth of clothes in there. And hopefully there will be room for souvenirs.

But I'll have more than that suitcase to carry stuff home in, fortunately. I also ordered a tote, which I'm in love with.

La Diva Convertible Tote

It looks small enough to work as an everyday over-the-shoulder purse, but it's big enough to carry a lot in it. It was super cheap, but the reviews were glowing. 

I'll post my own review after they both arrive.

The Journey Begins

Last year, in a fit of unrealistic optimism, I bought a ticket to see Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet in London. At the time - and to this day, to some extent - I had no idea how I was going to actually get there. But I had over a year to raise the funds and figure it out, so I went for it.

It's a year later, and this week, I booked a flight and a hotel room. I'm scared to death, but this is officially happening. Because I'm damn sure not about to back out now that I've spent over $2,000.

My hotel room in Hampstead.

I've been talking about this for months - thinking and planning and shopping around. My friends kept asking, "So, have you booked your trip, yet?" When I told them I had finally done it, they seemed surprised. The people who know me know this whole thing is out of character for me. I only go out with friends. I sometimes dine or go to the movies alone, but I don't like it. I wouldn't have half of my friends, if not for other friends introducing them to me. So, you could say I'm an introvert. An introvert doesn't travel to a foreign country alone.

In the last few days, I've been reading about women traveling alone, and every account I read makes it sound amazing and liberating. I've always been independent, my shyness aside, and I can imagine how this would be an incredible experience for me. I can see how it could boost my confidence tenfold. God knows I need that.